After long last, I have decided to watch the Star Wars prequels, starting with Attack of the Clones (I’ll wrap back around and The Phantom Menace last…mainly because the Machete order recommends dropping it entirely, but I haven’t even seen it so could be worth watching it). In any case, I’ve seen the original 3 (episodes 4, 5, and 6) multiple times, but never the prequels because I’d heard how awful they were.

And here I am to verify that they are pretty darn awful, lol. Don’t get me wrong, the original 3 were pretty cheesy, but it was still a great experience to get behind, with memorable dialogue and characters, the animation of the time period looking like someone was moving around lego Star Destroyers, all great stuff. But, the Attack of the Clones had some outrageous flaws that make it somewhat laughable. So here goes:

What I didn’t like

+ Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen. I cringed through every moment of their screen time. I’m not a big Natalie Portman fan to begin with because I don’t think she’s that good of an actress, but their budding teenage romance was really not well-suited for a Star Wars movie. Think back to the budding romance between Han Solo and Princess Leia. Sure it was cheesy, but it wasn’t the sappy, cheesy from teenage novels. Much sad faces.

+ The CGI really wasn’t doing anything for me. I like the retro, fake feeling of the special effects from the old movies and even from the new ones (Force Awakens and Rogue One). It feels infinitely more appropriate because it looks so fake and toy-ish. The CGI in this movie made everything look too artificial.

+ Overall, the acting was not so great and the movie felt a little long

What I did like

+ There were a handful of characters that to a certain extent salvaged the movie: Obi-wan, Yoda, Palpatine, and our favorite droids C3PO and R2D2. I love the funny/straight robot combo of C3PO and R2; it’s also always great when C3PO somehow gets dismembered during the climactic part of the movies. As the episode unfolds, I really appreciated how everything was falling into Palpatine’s plans. I mean, it’s really impressive that a single man is smart and powerful enough to outsmart everyone (including Yoda) and plan ten steps (years) ahead to solidify his reign as Emperor; he’s playing chess. He basically wills Anakin to the dark side through years of careful calculation and circumstantial event planning. Insane. I really enjoyed Obi-wan’s detectiving throughout the entire movie; it helped to counterbalance Anakin’s shenanigans. Finally understand the death sticks reference. Lastly Yoda is a badass, eom.


+ Ultimately, I love the Star Wars universe than any one particular character/story. I enjoyed visiting new planets and seeing more of that universe in this movie.

+ Soundtrack is pretty amazing.

Ultimately, I’m a Star Wars fan. The movie may be trash, but I enjoyed it nonetheless and am hyped up to see Episode III soon, if for no other reasons to get ready for Episode VIII coming out this year.